Leonard Rebick RP, Member CAPT
The Beach and Queensway-Royal York
"The reality is that we are social creatures who need each other not merely for company and sustenance but for any meaning in our lives."
- M. Scott Peck
Welcome! As you begin your journey seeking a psychotherapist, know that many have come this way before and have found it a rewarding experience, most people who have undergone therapy say that it has been helpful in dealing with their issues. You should be congratulated on taking this first step.
I am a Registered Psychotherapist and a member of the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario. Psychotherapy is both a way to find answers to your personal issues as well as a way to know yourself more fully, and understand your hidden desires an thus enabling you to realize your full potential.
Seeking therapeutic help is usually guided by a sense that something is wrong in your life, perhaps your career is not unfolding as you expected, your primary relationship is on the rocks. Perhaps you have been aware of an uneasy feeling you can’t identify, it may be that you’ve come to a point in life where all the things you thought would bring happiness have been achieved and still you wonder “is that all there is?” All of these are reasons people seek psychotherapy.
The search for a psychotherapist is one of looking for a guide who will help you navigate the unfamiliar terrain of the human psyche, in part one who can listen and understand the problems you are presenting, and part an individual who has a skill set that can offer perspective and direction when helping to solve problems that arise The ‘right therapist’ for you will understand your current issues and struggles and view them with understanding and compassion, often because he or she has already walked some of the ground you are now walking.
At the core of my practice is my work with couples and individuals who struggle with relationship. I believe the truest measure of who we are is seen not in what we have accomplished but in how we conduct ourselves in relationship. Many of the couples I see have lost the essence of what brought them together in the first place. They have allowed the other things in their lives to take precedence over their relationships. This includes their primary relationship but for many also extends to their immediate families. They seem to give less and less to the very things that give their lives meaning and then go searching for it elsewhere. Often they look for it in other relationships, work, or destructive addictive behaviour. These are the lost souls looking for love and satisfaction in all the wrong places.
I believe that a loving relationship takes time and effort to deepen and establish itself and then with continued care it continues to provide the love, and support that we want. It is vital that when problems arise and can’t seem to be solved and that the same issues reoccur again and again that the help of a psychotherapist is sought as soon as possible. The sooner the problems are negotiated the sooner the relationship can return to a solid footing.
For Singles looking for LoveThere are also those single individuals who wonder why after 20 or 30 years of searching they still find themselves without what they carve, a primary relationship. These are not the people who have chosen a single life but those who long for relationship but continue to find themselves on the outside looking in.
Adult Children of Divorce
I have noticed over the years that an unusually high proportion of those unable to commit to a primary relationship have already experienced the divorce of their parents as children. These Adult Children of Divorce seem to struggle with issues of trust, intimacy and commitment all of which inhibits their ability to commit to a long term relationship. It is easy to understand why this is so, having had their own world turned upside down by divorce they view relationship as a temporary thing at best and a struggle to maintain at worst. They will either date without commitment, commit but drag their feet when marriage or living together is suggested, or remain on the fence even after marriage.
Why Relationship Matters
At the heart of the human experience is relationship and it is through relationship that we ultimately learn about ourselves and our world. This begins with our relationship to our mothers’ and continues to roll out as we take on more and more relationship in our lives. The choice of a therapist is therefore an important one as it creates a template for understanding your behaviours, patterns, and how we can be supported in the world.
Our isolation and separation from ourselves and others is what leaves us feeling unfulfilled and looking for and looking for answers as to why life unfolds as it does. We become lost in negative thoughts and distorted belief systems. When we work in a productive relationship with a therapist who understands how we see ourselves, we can sort our what is real from what is unreal (like negative self-talk) and come to an acceptance of who we are, including our shortcomings as well as our gifts. This is the healing within the psychotherapeutic process. It is not we change as much as we become our authentic selves, with increased awareness and a larger capacity for our choices and actions.
I am a practicing psychotherapist with 23 years experience working with individuals, couples and groups. My early training was in Psychodrama and Primal Bodywork, some years later I trained with a therapist/teacher who developed The HEP Method, a model which integrated traditional psychotherapeutic technique, primal bodywork and spiritual attunement. This method gave me a great range of possibilities to explore in my work with individuals. As with all psychotherapists I took what I learned and developed a series of ever evolving techniques that I now use. I also engage in a continuing learning process which I accomplish through professional development and careful assessment of my clients.
I work with my wife Laura Di Vilio, also a member of this site, in groups as well as with couples, something we have been doing together for the past 12 years. We bring a unique perspective to our work with couples offering both a masculine and feminine voice to the struggles that trouble the people we see.
I am a father of two grown sons and a grandfather to a five year old girl; these and my relationship with Laura are the engine that brings heart to my work.
Please feel free to contact me for a no-cost consultation; I have evening and weekend hours available.
I look forward to hearing from you.
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