Although one-third of American children live in a stepfamily during part of their childhood, little is known about the development of the relationship between stepfathers and stepchildren.<\/p>\n New research from Brigham Young University fills that gap with a study that identified three factors that significantly contribute to closeness in stepfamilies:<\/strong><\/p>\n BYU professor Kevin Shafer\u2019s research on stepfamilies appears in the academic journal Social Work<\/em>.<\/p>\n \u201cFamily roles can be negotiated and there is going to be some bumpiness,\u201d said Shafer, who teaches and researches in BYU\u2019s School of Social Work. \u201cThe notion that couples should put the couple first and everything else will fall into place is false.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n Shafer and BYU grad student Todd Jensen analyzed data from a nationally representative sample of 1,088 children in stepfamilies. From the children\u2019s perspective, frustrations occur when the new dad assumes too much parental authority or when he disrupts the family\u2019s normal way of doing things.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cMoms need to let their children know that it\u2019s ok to talk if they have a problem with their stepfather because everybody is still trying to figure out this new family dynamic,\u201d Shafer said.<\/p>\n And the lack of history between stepdads and children amplifies the detrimental effects of parental conflict.<\/p>\n \u201cFull-blown arguments set up stepfamilies for failure<\/strong>,\u201d Shafer said.<\/p>\n Couples typically make one of two mistakes in the transition. The first type involves the couple acting as though nothing major has changed \u2013 that the new father is a replacement instead of an addition. The second type of mistake is for mom to take upon herself all of the parenting.<\/p>\n The common thread in both scenarios is that the children\u2019s voices are missing.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cIf you have teenagers, they should be a pretty active participant in discussions of what the family is going to look like and how the family is going to function,\u201d Shafer said.<\/p>\n The study contains one pleasant surprise: Communicating openly and avoiding arguments contributes to closeness regardless of family income or education level<\/strong>.<\/p>\n \u201cIt really is the interpersonal dynamic that predicts family closeness,\u201d Shafer said. \u201cYou can build these bonds in spite of financial challenges<\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\n Jensen appears as a co-author on the paper and will receive a master\u2019s degree in social work from BYU this month. Next fall he will enroll in the University of North Carolina\u2019s Ph.D. program in social work.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" From the BYU press release via HealthCanal: As any stepdad can tell you, it\u2019s one thing to win a mom\u2019s heart and another to win over her children. Although one-third… Read more »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[45,13,287,101,73,279],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/therapytoronto.ca\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12034"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/therapytoronto.ca\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/therapytoronto.ca\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therapytoronto.ca\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therapytoronto.ca\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12034"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/therapytoronto.ca\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12034\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12098,"href":"https:\/\/therapytoronto.ca\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12034\/revisions\/12098"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/therapytoronto.ca\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12034"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therapytoronto.ca\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12034"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therapytoronto.ca\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12034"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"family\"](\"http:\/\/therapytoronto.ca\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/happy-family-with-teens.jpg\")
<\/a>As any stepdad can tell you, it\u2019s one thing to win a mom\u2019s heart and another to win over her children.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n