{"id":34739,"date":"2026-09-22T15:42:39","date_gmt":"2026-09-22T19:42:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/therapytoronto.ca\/news\/?p=34739"},"modified":"2026-09-22T09:53:25","modified_gmt":"2026-09-22T13:53:25","slug":"what-doctors-say-can-be-as-powerful-as-what-they-prescribe-physician-turned-patient-warns","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/therapytoronto.ca\/news\/2026\/09\/what-doctors-say-can-be-as-powerful-as-what-they-prescribe-physician-turned-patient-warns\/","title":{"rendered":"What doctors say can be as powerful as what they prescribe, physician-turned-patient warns"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dr. Wendy Harpham was 36 years old and a successful physician who prided herself on her empathy. Then she was diagnosed with cancer. Seeing things from the other side showed her how difficult being a patient can really be, and how much clinicians\u2019 words impact how patients feel and what they do.<\/p>\n

Through multiple recurrences of cancer and, decades later, a diagnosis of a rare blood disorder, she became an expert in helping clinicians communicate effectively during time-limited visits \u2013 and in helping patients hear what doctors say in helpful, hopeful ways.<\/p>\n

In her new book\u00a0Clinical Communication<\/em><\/a>, Dr. Harpham from Dallas, shares personal stories to illustrate a patient perspective on clinicians\u2019 words that help and those that unwittingly cause distress.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust like a medicine, clinicians\u2019 words can help or harm,\u201d she explains.<\/p>\n

The burden of being a \u2018good patient\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n

According to Dr. Harpham, a first visit for a medical concern is not the first step for those patients. Many wrestled with fear, self-doubt and decisional paralysis before making the appointment.<\/p>\n

At doctor visits, a simple greeting can become complicated. For example, Dr. Harpham didn\u2019t know how to answer when a nurse greeted her with \u201cHow are you?\u201d at an appointment. She was unsure whether to report her physical symptoms, such as the exhaustion with any exertion, or the anxiety and sadness she has been dealing with. Or should she project confidence, to be taken seriously and be a model patient?<\/p>\n

\u201cI stammered, frozen with uncertainty,\u201d she recalls. \u201cDifferent sides of me competed to answer, leaving me tongue-tied.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dr. Harpham says this kind of exchange captures the psychological tightrope<\/strong> patients walk \u2013 balancing honest reporting with their needs to maintain hope, appear competent, and not be seen as difficult.<\/p>\n

Her advice to doctors is to be specific, asking \u201cHow have you been feeling since we last spoke?\u201d or \u201cWhat brings you in today?\u201d, to remove ambiguity. Dr. Harpham reminds patients that \u201cdoctor visits are not social visits.\u201d<\/p>\n

Speaking to apprehensive patients<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dr. Harpham sympathises with challenges of today\u2019s healthcare due to advances in medicine: doctors have more to discuss and less time to discuss it. She argues that brief expressions of compassion can improve the care they provide and help patients respond in helpful, hopeful ways.<\/p>\n

\u201cWords have the power to comfort and inspire patients living on the front lines where the pain is felt and the pills are swallowed,\u201d Dr. Harpham explains. \u201cNo matter how medicine changes, nothing can diminish the healing potential of well-chosen words.\u201d<\/p>\n

When patients report new symptoms after delaying out of fear, she suggests doctors build connection with compassion<\/strong>: \u201cComing in is difficult. I understand trying to give it time to go away. I\u2019m glad you are here today. Now let\u2019s see what we can do.\u201d<\/p>\n

For false alarms, she suggests: \u201cYou did the right thing. Better a false alarm than a missed opportunity.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dr. Harpham also delves into the fraught area of discussing conditions with a poor prognosis. Insights and tips for clinicians help patients too, she suggests, by guiding them to healthy ways to process the truth and manage uncertainty.<\/p>\n

When breaking bad news, she appreciated doctors who prepared her first: \u201cI wish I had better news for you today,\u201d or \u201cThis is going to be difficult for me to say and, I expect, difficult for you to hear.\u201d She says such warnings, delivered calmly, communicate both sorrow and competence, which patients need when their world is changing.<\/p>\n

One of Dr. Harpham\u2019s most surprising insights as a patient involves waiting for test results. Rather than hoping for good news, she encourages patients \u2013 and doctors \u2013 to hope for \u2018accurate news<\/strong>\u2019.<\/p>\n

\u2018Good news\u2019 sets up a binary: results are either good or bad. Accurate news, however, provides the information needed to make wise decisions and respond in helpful ways. It honours the complexity of medical reality, where partial responses and stable disease all carry meaning. And it helps patients manage the uncertainty while waiting for results.<\/p>\n

\u201cMore than I hope for good news, I hope for accurate news \u2013 however long I have to wait,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Advice for doctors<\/strong><\/p>\n

For a wide variety of common scenarios, she models phrases and approaches<\/strong> that show compassion and foster trust needed for effective communication:<\/p>\n