Sandra Flear BA, RP, RelPsych(Dip.), CPI, Member CAPT
I am a Registered Psychotherapist and a member of the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario.
You're here because you are looking for help for yourself or your relationship. You want to feel more joy and aliveness, and learn how to transform conflict, sadness, anger, shame, and fear. Psychotherapy really helps. I know at first hand the power and transformative effect of being listened to, seen, understood, and accepted as you really are by another. I've experienced it myself and I've seen many of my clients change because of it.
My training as a psychotherapist includes relational psychodynamic therapy, somatics (body awareness and skills), trauma therapy, mindfulness, expressive arts, parent education, and most recently, sex and intimacy coaching. I work with a variety of people and issues, and I have passion for working with people around problems in relationships, attachment history, sexuality, and intimacy. I work with both individuals and couples.
In my ten years as a therapist, I have helped many people become their most authentic selves and supported them in building joyful relationships.
I found that non-judgmental acceptance and guidance helps people learn to stay with their feelings, grow acceptance for the experiences they are having or have had, and helps them create more fulfilling lives.
Often, the people who come to see me need help with being with their emotions. Most people didn't receive warm support and connection when they had big feelings when they were children, but instead were isolated or punished when they simply needed connection and to offload emotion. As a result of this, many people believe that showing emotion is weakness, or that feeling it will be overwhelming or never-ending. With my support, people feel safe enough to learn that they can connect again with their feelings and find that doing so lightens and transforms their lives.
When I help my clients understand that many of the difficult patterns that they are living with come from the relationships and circumstances they grew up with, it helps them enormously in releasing themselves to live in the present, with more aliveness and freedom.
In my work with couples, I help each partner to connect with their own feelings, and to uncover the unconscious relationship patterns they learned in childhood that they habitually re-create in their present relationships. This helps them to discern which parts are no longer relevant or useful. I help each to learn what their attachment styles are - secure, anxious, or avoidant, and when they are in fight, flight, or freeze defense reactions with their partners. I also guide them in learning about their partners so they can be sources of warmth and strength for each other, and build relationships that allow both their individuality and intimacy to flourish.
My gifts as a therapist are my perceptiveness, compassion, humour, gentleness, and capacity to be with a wide range of experiences and depth of emotion, both in myself and in others. I have a passion for helping people to live with more authenticity and embodied joy, and helping couples become deep sources of comfort and enlivenment for each other.
I look forward to hearing from you and supporting you in creating the life that you want. Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you would like to set up a free initial consultation. Here is the map to my office in Roncesvalles Village, near High Park.
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