Sandra Flear BA, RelPsych(Dip.), E.S.T.,
Qualifying Member OSP, Member CAPT

I see psychotherapy as a process of finding and uncovering the basic healthiness or sanity that we already possess, that we were born with. I believe that our most basic nature is one of openness, clarity and warmth. Becoming aware of this part of our selves can bring much wisdom, confidence, meaning, and beauty. It also means that we are workable just as we are. I believe in this basic healthiness because I have seen it in myself and in others.

Uncovering our basic healthiness and manifesting it in our lives can be difficult and confusing. I offer my companionship, attention, and unconditional friendliness as you go through the process of becoming more aware of and comfortable with all aspects of your experience. I also offer you the opportunity to practice being in relationship in new ways. You may explore in our relationship new behaviours and ways of being with another in a safe way.

I know at first hand the power and transformative effect of being seen and understood as we really are by another, and this is what I see as good therapy. It's difficult to exaggerate the potential of this for improving the way we feel, and for increasing our understanding of ourselves and other people. It is the single most transformative thing I have experienced, taking me far beyond where I was to places I couldn't have imagined, and this is why I became a therapist.

I believe the most important resource I offer as a therapist is my own success with struggling with the legacy of a difficult early life. This struggle has given me the emotional strength to be with others when they are suffering, in-depth understanding of the inner landscape, and an appreciation of the difficulty and beauty of being alive. I also bring a keen appreciation of humour, a tender compassion, and a passion for getting to the "heart" of things and for creating a healing connection.

There have also been many theoretical influences on my approach to therapy, including the theories and practices of relational, psychodynamic, sensorimotor, feminist, expressive arts, ecological, transpersonal, and process-oriented psychotherapies.

I work in an experiential, imaginative, and body-centered way. I believe in the experiential approaches of body-centered and imaginative methods such as visualization, inner body awareness, movement and drama because knowing something conceptually is not the same as being able to do it. Working experientially with the dynamics of our lives allows us to physically and emotionally practice, do and un-do, what needs to happen for greater happiness. I believe the most important part of the work I do is with what happens during the session.

In doing this, I try not to make assumptions about what an experience is about, or what the remedy may be. I work in a collaborative way with people, checking my hypotheses about what is going on with their own sense of it. When people have access to their inner  knowing, they can often sense quite clearly what they are experiencing, and what they need. Where people don't have access to their experience in this way, I help them to develop it, through sensing body experience, and using spontaneous images, movements, and words that arise along with feelings, stories, or memories.

I help support people to feel and express their joy, pleasure, victory and calm as well as their rage, grief, loneliness, and despair. Being aware of and increasing positive feelings has just as much a place in therapy as the necessity of expressing and healing the difficult emotions. My aim is towards greater aliveness and connection, whatever the person's circumstances or emotional state. Radical self-acceptance is at the heart of my practice - what I most hope to help nourish and grow in the people I work with.

My training as a psychotherapist includes a five-year psychotherapy training program at the Toronto Institute for Relational Psychotherapy, as well as training in expressive arts therapy and training in the treatment of trauma through The Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute.

Here is a poem that I feel expresses the mystery and power of the process of change:

Last Night As I Was Sleeping

Last night as I was sleeping
I dreamt - marvelous error!
that a spring was breaking
out in my heart.

I said: Along which secret aqueduct,
Oh water, are you coming to me,
water of a new life
that I have never drunk?

Last night as I was sleeping,
I dreamt - marvelous error!-
that I had a beehive
here inside my heart.
and the golden bees
were making white combs
and sweet honey
from my old failures.

Last night as I was sleeping,
I dreamt - marvelous error!
that a fiery sun was giving
light inside my heart.
It was fiery because I felt
warmth as from a hearth,
and sun because it gave light
and brought tears to my eyes.

Last night as I slept,
I dreamt - marvelous error!-
that it was God I had
here inside my heart.

by Antonio Machado

I would be very happy to work with you. Please enquire by email if you would like to find out more. Here is my map.